A Risk for Love
by lady44
Summary: Xemnas grew up thinking he was unworthy but when he meets Saix, he shows him his true quality. But what happens if someone you loved is loved by someone else? What if that person was your brother and who is most appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:**

All the characters belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney.

My third story I have written. This chapter my sound a bit boring but trust me it will get better! The characters in this story may not have the expected personality but I believe its the characters itself and the story that count, but that's my point of view.

I've included a glimpse or preface of one of the upcoming chapters just to keep my readers interested.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Summary,**

What do you do when someone higher up then you loved the same person?

As a child, Xemnas grew up neglected by his father Diz and his brother Ansem. Now that Xemnas is older, his brother shows him a bit more compassion. From being left out as a child, Xemnas grew up thinking of himself as an unworthy man but things begin to change when a young man named Saïx comes along.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

** Preface**

Xemnas hit the ground hard. His head throbbed with pain. All he remembered was a blade targeting towards him. But why is it that the only pain he could feel is the pounding in his head? As he came to his senses, he felt a heavy weight on top of him. His eyes focused on the heavy object and turns out to be a body. With horror, he began to panic.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Chapter One,**

Substance froth from the tube as Xemnas combined the mixtures into the other.

"Whoops, A bit too much" He spoke in half tone and ended it with a chuckle.

Good thing no one is here. He thought to himself as he glanced around the laboratory. It was rare that he would make a mistake but even the most intelligent ones make mistakes. He would remind himself of this quite often to avoid bad thoughts when his experiments doesn't go as expected.

Knowing the mixture will burn his hand, he yanked out his safety gloves from his pocket and slide them on. Grabbing the cloth that's hanging on the sink rim, he cautiously gave the foamy substance a wipe, avoiding it from splattering everywhere.

The laboratory door suddenly barged open, startling Xemnas from his full concentration on wiping. Good thing he wasn't mixing or else things would of gotten ugly. He quickly turned around to see his brother Ansem standing at the door way. He stood with his usual pose, arms cross over his chest, his legs slightly parted and his head would be tilted downwards. His skin had a soft tan texture. His hair, long and silver, similar to his own. Many people would tell him how much alike they looked. Of course they would have similar characteristics, they are brothers.

"How's the experiment turning out?" Ansem asked with his masculine voice.

"Everything is going as planned. However, it would of been a disaster if you would of barged in any sooner" Xemnas replied sharply.

Ansem arched his eyebrow, not quite getting what he meant.

"I don't quite know what you mean, but as long as the progress is going as you predicted then father will be most pleased"

Since when did he ever get any gratitude from his father? It is Ansem, the one who got all the attention. No wonder why father had chosen him to be in charge of the castle while he's absent.

Xemnas nodded. "I"m sure he will be pleased more by you" He rebuked.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure father gives you some credit" Ansem spited, making the word ''some'' stood out from the rest.

"I appreciate your generosity. However, I do believe the rest of the credit will go to someone who doesn't quite deserve it"

Ansem shook his head with disapproval. "Xem... "

A sudden knocked on the door cut him short. Xemnas let out a relief. He knew that his brother would have his big speech about how he is better then what he think he is. Which would take hours for him to escape from.

"Enter!" Ansem called out.

A man with a patch over his right eye poked his head in the room. His one eye searched the room until he spotted the man he was looking for.

"Sir" He acknowledged.

"Yes, Xigbar?"

Xigbar was the type a guy who everyone got along with. Not to mention how extremely loud he is. Xemnas father treated him like he was his second son. This would make Xemnas feel even more deserted. However, this didn't change the way he thought about him. After all, he is a nice guy and who else keeps him entertained when he is bored?

"There is a young man here who wants to see you"

"Tell the young man that I'll be there shortly"

"Yes sir"

"No wait, take the young man to my office. I'll meet him there"

"Yes sir" He said before he disappeared out the door.

He turned towards Xemnas "I want you to come see me in my office later on, we'll talk there. In the mean time, finish up the research paper so I can review them later"

"Certainly, I'll have the results in no time, do to my outstanding intelligence"

"You sound very confident, so I shouldn't have to worry. I'll be looking forward for your company this evening"

"Later, brother" Ansem said as he strode out the room.

Xemnas lips curved in a satisfying grin. His recent snide remarks were quite an achievement. Since their father wasn't around, this was the opportunity bite at him. Putting that thought to the side, Xemnas continued to what he was doing before he was interrupted.

Xemnas noticed the mixture he had spilled earlier had left a dark stain. He recapped the scene in his head and chuckled to himself once more.

"Hey Xemnas!" Xigbar called out behind him.

Xemnas jolted, exiting his trance. "Stop jumping out of nowhere like that. One of these days this place is going to blow" Xemnas chided.

"Now if you keep your mind off of Xaldin wearing tights then you won't have that problem now would you?" Xigbar joked.

"Please Xigbar, I don't want to be involved with your fantasies"

Xigbar let out a hysterical laugh. "Man you're good at those comebacks. One of these days I am going to get you good where you won't know what to say"

"Well I won't be expecting that anytime soon" Xemnas laughed.

"No comment there"

"So, yeah anyway" Xigbar hopped up on the countertop.

"The guy I mentioned earlier, you should see him. He's quite a good looking young man. I bet Ansem will get his hands on him anytime soon"

"Ah really?" Xemnas tried to make him sound interested.

"Yeah. He has this long blue hair with spikes on top and he has this mellow sounding voice"

"You came all the way here to talk about some new guy?" Xemnas asked.

"Who else would of came and told you the latest gossip?"

"I'm sure Zexion might of"

"I don't even think he knows what's going on. Half of the time that kid is stuck in a tree" Xigbar joked as he jumped off of the countertop.

Xemnas chuckled. "I suppose you're right"

"Well I got to go find mad scientist number two. So catch yeah later"

"Later, Xig"

Xemnas started writing his paper before anymore interruptions. He didn't mind if it were on any other day, but today was his special day. Today's the deadline of his reports and his brother isn't good at meeting deadlines. So this is where he would feel more content.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

I hope my readers enjoyed the beginning of my story. I know it's short, lol. Anyway, before I continue my story, I want to see how many people are of interested in my story. It would be very appreciated if you left an review so I know. :)

Yup, that's about it. :)


	2. Another Day

Chapter 2, Another Day

Xemnas arrived at his brothers office half beat from all the writing he had done earlier.

I wonder if that new guy Xigbar had mentioned is going to be there. He'll probably be ugly, knowing what Xigbar calls good looking. Xemnas thought to himself, finding it rather humorist.

Xemnas entered the office expecting his bother to scold him for not knocking. Which surprisingly he didn't. He did have a bit of an annoyed expression.

"Hello Xemnas" Ansem greeted. He stood up from behind his desk.

Xemnas really wasn't in a talkative state. So he just gave him a nod

"I like you to meet my new acquaintance, Saïx"

I guess Xigbar was right about him. Xemnas thought to himself. He is one handsome young man. No wonder his brother had hired him or maybe he'd hope to get him.

He didn't want to be rude and not say anything so he just gave him a little welcoming.

"Hi" Xemnas greeted. He sounded rather plan. Which he didn't intended too.

Ansem looked at Saïx. "Saïx my brother Xemnas" He gestured him to Xemnas as he introduced him.

"Pleased to meet you" Saïx greeted with a half smile.

Xemnas didn't like the way he smiled at him, or if you would even call it a smile. It made him feel a bit uneasy. Perhaps his brother had said something to him. Like he always does. No wonder people have a bad impression on him when ever he is around, besides the ones that got to know him.

"I believe you are here to hand me some reports. I assume you have them?" Ansem sounded a bit inpatient. Probably because he wanted to be alone with the new guy.

Xemnas looked down at the papers in his hands and then handed them to his brother. As his brother skimmed through the pages, Xemnas took this opportunity to check out the newest acquaintance. Not to really check him out, but to see if he still had the unwelcoming expression.

He looked over at Saïx, who was watching Ansem. Xemnas searched his face and was immediately drawn to his piercing but calm eyes. Looking into them made you feel like you're being swallowed. Not realizing, Saïx was starring back at him. He quickly turned his head away, not wanting Saïx to see him flush. Xemnas was a bit worried of what he thought of him for starring like that. Maybe he might say something to his brother. Xemnas decided it was time to leave. Not really for what he thinks, but more because it was hard to keep his eyes off of him.

"I'll let you read the papers and if you have any questions you know where to find me" Xemnas tried not to sound rushed. He exited the room as quick and unnoticeable as he possibly can.

Xemnas knew that it will be hard having this new guy around. As long as he keeps his distance, then everything thing should turn out fine.

He walked the long journey back to the lab. Thinking he would be travel alone, one of the others members popped around the corner.

"Hey Xemnas" Marluxia greeted with a flirtatious tone.

"Oh hi, Marluxia" Xemnas greeted back, but trying not sound as flirty as he did.

Xemnas once had a crush on Marluxia. They would always fool around together when no one was around, but not the intimate way. He never had a chance with him because Marluxia had an eye on his brother. So he gave up on trying to get him and just remained friends. Xemnas can't say that he still likes him, but being around him would brighten his day and he does enjoy his company.

"Are you heading back to the lab?"

"As a matter of fact, I am"

"Mind if I join you?" He asked, walking closer then he was a few minutes ago.

"Sure" Xemnas smiled crookedly.

Marluxia seem to be enlightened by the smile he had gave him. Maybe he should try this technique on the new guy. It could be a way to lure him in. Xemnas paused his thoughts for a second. What am I thinking?. I thought I was going to try to stay away from him and here I am thinking about bringing him near. Xemnas thought to himself.

"Any plans for you today or are you just going to be in the lab?" Marluxia interrupted his thoughts.

Where else would I go, besides my room.

"Probably going to be in the lab. I have nothing better to do"

"I have nothing else to do either. So I'll come keep you company" Marluxia offered.

"Like old times" He added.

"Fine with me"

Xemnas could hear Xigbar talking away from the other side of the door. He must be bugging Vexen since he would be the only one there other then Zexion, who would casually drop by and then mysteriously disappear.

The room went quite as they entered. Vexen and Xigbar were standing by the counter doing nothing but looking to see who it was.

"What did Ansem think of the report?" Vexen asked before the others had a chance to say anything. He sounded very eager to know.

"He is reading it as we speak. I was too impatient to stay. So I told him I'll be here if he has any questions" Xemnas half lied. As if he would tell him the real reason.

"Hmm" Vexen stroked his chin the way he always does.

Xemnas slumped across the room with Marluxia following.

"Feeling a bit lazy, hey Xemnas?" Xigbar noticed.

"Very" He leaned against the counter where everyone else is standing.

"Why don't you go lay down for a bit?" Marluxia suggested.

"I was planning on to, but first I'm going to clean my office"Xemnas decided. He strolled across the room to his office door which was connected to the lab. He left his door open so he could listen in on their conversation. His entertainment as he cleans his room.

"Zexion my pal. How's the tree house going?" Xigbar joked.

Oh, Zexion must be here. Xemnas thought to himself, scrambling all his papers together. I wonder where that guy has been.

"You have a tree house?" Marluxia blurted.

"I don't have a tree house" Zexion exclaimed.

"Oh... There goes my garden idea"

Xemnas chuckled quietly to himself. The others couldn't here him because he was in the other room.

"Garden?" Xigbar raised his eyebrow, looking at him oddly.

"It was a joke"

"Oh" Xigbar laughed.

Soon after his amusement died. Xemnas decided he will go lay down for a bit. Everything was pretty much done anyway.

"I'm going to go lay down for a bit. I'm exhausted from all that work earlier"Xemnas said as he walked out of his office.

"Why so early?" Xigbar asked.

"I'm tired"

Did he not mention it earlier? He thought.

"Have a nice nap, Xemnas" Marluxia said.

"Thanks, See you guys later" Xemnas walked out of the lab.

He felt a bit bad for leaving. Him and Marluxia were going to hang out for a bit. He was pretty sure that he would understand how tired he was. They could always later get together and chat for a bit.

Xemnas entered his nice warm room and strolled towards his bed that's in the centre along the wall. He took of his clothes before he plopped down on his big comfy bed. He relaxed his body so it will help him drift off to sleep. Before he dozed off, he thought that later he will journey around the castle and see if he runs in to Saïx.

Will Saïx give me the same expression from earlier or will he be more friendly? Come to think about it, I did give him an unpleasant welcome. Maybe that is why Saïx looked at me the way he did. Xemnas pondered to himself.

It took awhile until he finally dozed off to sleep. The last thing on his mind was the beautiful face of Saïx.


	3. Just for you

Chapter 3, Just for you

Xemnas found himself wondering the halls after he finally decided to wake up. He didn't feel much awake as he wanted too. He felt like any moment now, the irrupting sound of footsteps coming from behind him is going to scare him.

"Xemnas, there you are!?" Ansem barked. "Where have you been?"

Xemnas jolted then turned swiftly "I have been in my room" He replied. His eyes were still sleepy.

Ansem cross his arms over his chest. "I've knock on your door and you never answered"

Xemnas can recall pounding on his door but he didn't have the energy to move. He kind of suspected it was his brother. So why would he bother to answer it?

"Well, I must have been still sleeping"

Ansem disapproved. "You think you can live here and follow your own rules. Everyone else gets up when they are suppose too and does what they are told. So why doesn't this apply to you?"

"I was exhausted. I've been working hard and I needed the rest"

If Ansem worked half as hard as he does, he wouldn't even make it through. He doesn't even do anything. All he does is wonder the castle, looking for someone to prey on. Especially when it comes to Xemnas.

Ansem observed him for a brief moment, as if planning on his next move. "I have to agree with you. You do work hard, but you seem to be all rest up now"

Just by listening to the tone of his voice, Xemnas could tell that he was up to something. He doesn't expect it to be good either.

"You know father has been gone for some time" Ansem spoke in a more smoother tone now.

"Obviously" Xemnas mocked.

Ansem ignored his sarcasm and continued his speech. "He will be coming here this evening and he's expecting all the reports done and handed in"

"There shouldn't be nothing to worry about. Everything is complete" Xemnas announced.

Ansem flashed him a mischievous smile. "I have one last assignment that I need you to do" Ansem handed him the paper.

Xemnas grabbed the paper from him and took a few minutes to skim through.

"You want this done by tonight?" He baffled. This guy is insane. He thought.

"Exactly"

Ansem knew how long it would take him to finish the task. He hopes that by tonight, Xemnas would hand in an incomplete assignment to his father.

"You should of told me earlier. I will need more time then this" Xemnas argued.

"What happened to my so called intelligent brother? I had faith that you will get it done"

"Even the most brilliant man needs time to do his work. Getting the assignment done tonight is impossible" Xemnas argued, shaking the paper as he spoke.

"Impossible you say?" A feminine soft voice came from the dark corner of the hall. Larxene stepped into the light. She held a strong expression on her face. Her thin figure gracefully paced towards them.

Larxene is the one Xemnas will try to avoid. She does nothing but brings him down. She is too proud of herself. For she was the only women who had power in this castle. Ansem made all the other women do all the work around here.

"I've seen other scientist who have completed their work in one day" Larxene mentioned.

"See, Larxene agrees with me. And if you ask the others, I'm sure they will agree too"

"That's absurd!" Xemnas disproved. Ansem is always trying to prove him wrong or maybe he is right. Maybe I'm not good enough or as intelligent as I thought I was.

"Why don't you prove yourself useful" Larxene delighted. Her personality flickered with disparage.

He didn't like her and her savage ways. If he could make a poison, he would surely test it on her. He would put a few drops in her food and at dinner he would watch her skin turn white. Her eyes will grow with fear, falling to the ground.

Is he being too cruel or is it normal? He knows the others are. Maybe that's why everyone seems distant around him.

"Don't disappoint me, Xemnas. I've counted on you for ages. I do not wish to see you fail. And what would father say? What would he think of you? I could see him shaking his head, disproving the son he solemnly cast aside." Ansem said harshly.

Xemnas gripped the paper tightly between his fingers. His stiff body burned with anger. His eyes glaring in his brothers.

"I'm better then what father thinks of me. I will get this paper done but tonight. You'll see" Xemnas said angrily. Yet he honestly didn't think he could and he knew in the end he will fail his own words. He could see his father looking upon him, bringing him once again disgrace.

"You don't have much time. You should get started as soon as possible if your planning on handing it in by tonight" Larxene said.

Ansem formed a smile across his face. "I'll be looking forward for tonight" He turned and started his way down the long hall.

"Later, Xemnas" Larxene snobbishly twirled around and joined up with Ansem.

They left him standing there with grief. How much harder does he have to work? How does he expect him to get it done. Unless he could get someone to assist him.

Xemnas trotted furiously down the hall. Why couldn't of he told me sooner? The nerve of him.

"Vexen!" Xemnas shouted, barging through the door and scared the innocent bystanders as he did.

"Vexen? Where's Vexen?"

The two young guys stared back at him blankly as if trying to figure out why he is mad.

"Well?" Xemnas said impatiently. His was getting very annoyed now. He felt like going up to one of them and shake the answer out.

"Uh, I think he is in the study hall." One of them answered.

Without saying another word he was out the door in seconds.

"I feel sorry for Vexen" He whispered to the other.


	4. Good to Bad

Chapter 4, Good to Bad

Xemnas retired from another hard days work. Him and Vexen both struggled to get the assignment done. Although it wasn't finished completely. There were a few blocks but Ansem wasn't really smart enough to spot them out. Which he'd hope he wouldn't. If he did, he'd be in big trouble.

Xemnas laid on his comfy bed. He recapped the time he seen Saïx in the library. His back was facing towards him as he searched through books on the shelves. The moment Saïx turned around, his piercing eyes met his. He remembered the feeling he had when he could feel Saïx eyes on him when he walked nervously across the room. How his body burned with an unfamiliar sensation.

Xemnas flipped to the other side of his bed. He smile delightedly as he tried to fall asleep.

Xemnas picked out different books from the shelf hoping he'd pick something interesting. Which didn't seem to happen. Most of the more interesting books rested where Saïx stood. A few times Xemnas would attempt to approach this section but backed down. He thought he would save the embarrassment for some other time.

"Stop staring at him" Vexen whispered into his book.

"Are you whispering to me or the book?" Xemnas joked.

"You" Vexen chuckled.

"I was looking at the other bookshelves" Xemnas lied, picking out a random book. Wishing he could be there.

"Since when did you like reading about fish?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

Xemnas looked down at the book in his hand. "Well I never like reading about fish, but I do like eating them" Xemnas joked.

Vexen shock his head with a chuckled.

"Xemnas, you're too funny"

Strangely, Vexen packed up his selected books. He looked a bit panicky, as if somewhat startled.

"Hi" A soft yet deep voice greeted.

Xemnas looked up to meet the gaze of the individual in front of him. To his surprise it was Saïx. He was standing right there looking at him. It was a magical moment. He felt nervous yet at the same time joyful.

"Oh, hi" Xemnas manage to speak out. His excitement made him feel somewhat confident.

"I'll be back at the lab if you need me" Vexen said before hurrying away. Xemnas watched Vexen as he left the room. Xemnas didn't get a chance to ask for his help but that didn't matter. Saïx was there and what would be more important then getting a chance to talk to him.

Good Vexen, leave. He thought to himself. Leave us two alone.

"I see you like reading about fish" Saïx mused.

Xemnas completely forgotten about the book in his hand. He looked at Saïx blankly "I umm... " He paused, trying think up something quick. "I like to learn about a variety of different things. I find all thing interesting"

Xemnas scolded himself for being such a moron. He could of thought of a better reply.

"Interesting" He looked up at Xemnas. "What other books you like to read?" He paused briefly. "Show me"

"Of course"

He put the book back on the shelf and pulled out another one. This time the book was on unicorns. No not that one. He thought as he puts the book back. He didn't know what to look for. What would make him look impressive? He reached up and pulled out another book. That too wasn't the one he was looking for. If only the other side of the room was here. He could walk over there, but a table was in the way. He couldn't seem to move. Should he just ask what he likes? No, he couldn't do that. He had to impress him. He reached for another one, then another one. He couldn't find the right book. He kept going through books after books, panicking. Why couldn't he pick the right one?

"You'll never impress anyone. You can't even pick out a good book" Ansem mocked, appearing out of nowhere.

"No, no!" Xemnas panicked. A sudden bang on the door made him jump but he still kept searching. Books slowly piled the floor. He could hear Ansem laughing in the background. Saïx repeatedly telling him to impress him. The words kept going through his mind.

"I can't find one, I can't find one!"

The time seem to pick up, faster and faster. The surrounding glowed brightly. His images spun around him until he couldn't take it anymore. Then everything went black. All he heard was someone calling his name softly. Was it Saïx?

Xemnas opened his eyes, seeing someone blurred in his vision.

"Xemnas, you were having a bad dream" Marluxia spoke softly, wiping the sweat from his hot forehead.

Xemnas sat up. His body felt all sticky. He was glad Marluxia had woken him up. After what he dreamt, he thought he'd never want to fall asleep again. His nice dream turned into a nightmare.

--------

Xemnas sat at his desk staring blankly at the neatly stacked papers before him. A sudden knock at the door brought his conscious back from his lifelessness. His gaze met with the eyes of Marluxia's. He watched him intently as he strolled towards him.

"I thought I'd prepare you some coffee. Then, as I remembered, you don't like coffee to much. So instead I've made you some hot cocoa with a little special something added" Marluxia placed the mug in front of him. "The enhance flavor should perk you up."

Marluxia half sat on his desk next to him.

"How very thoughtful of you" Xemnas appreciated. He wrapped his hand around the mug of cocoa. He took a sip carefully so he wouldn't burn his tongue. The hotness of the creamy liquid warmed his body.

"Mmm" He delighted. "I hope one day you'll share your secret with me."

"I wouldn't waste your hopes for it" Marluxia teased.

Xemnas smiled. "Thank you"

"Your very welcome, Xemnas" He stood up and headed towards the door.

"Leaving so soon?" Xemnas asked with a pout.

"Yes, I have to do some errands for the master. Otherwise I would of loved to stay and keep you company."

Errands for that pesky suck-up? That man can't do anything himself. Xemnas scoffed in his thoughts.

"See you later, Xemnas" He waved off and drifted out the door before he can reply back.

Xemnas returned to staring at the stacks papers, which he really didn't know what to do with it. Ansem hadn't given him anymore research to work with. He'll probably give him at the last minute again. Which he's hoping he doesn't.

Only a few minutes past before someone entered his office again.

"Did you forget something or did you miss me that much and had to come back?" Xemnas asked playfully.

He looked up, his breath froze in his chest. His heart raced as the young man stepped forward.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for taking so long, been busy but not no more. Just seeing if anyone is still interested in reading it.


End file.
